Psychological defense: why do we need them?

“Ah, it’s not difficult to deceive me, I myself am glad!” – famous Pushkin lines clearly reveal the nature of psychological defense. This is an unconscious process designed to create an illusion of peace and safety for the psyche, to protect against threats of the outside world. What motives hide these protection, explains the psychotherapist Marina Myus.

Negation

“Often on therapy, a person talks about the fact that in a relationship with a parent or spouse he feels lonely and incomprehensible,” says the psychotherapist Marina Myus. – But it is worth returning his words to him: “You feel that you are not loved or accepted?”, And he immediately denies it. So the protection is turned on, which avoids painful experiences. The reaction of denial arises at the moments of a strong emotional shock. A person cannot come to terms with the fact that a loved one suddenly was not alive, and assures himself and others that this is just a dream ”.

crowding out

The memory is no accidentally selectively includes childhood memories. Often in people who do not remember the younger classes of the school and even the adolescence at all, so painful episodes are erased. Adults often replace what gives rise to a feeling of guilt inside.

“If we offended someone, we unconsciously choose the easiest way-to pretend that nothing happened. True, it is hardly possible to deceive yourself. “Forgetting” about what happened, we, nevertheless, can experience similar feelings with other people, even if they did not harm them. And we continue to bear the burden of guilt, with which he is not able to meet face to face. “.

Projection

We give others to the fact that he torments ourselves. This is especially pronounced on social networks, where they criticize those who boldly express their position, begins a risky project, and changes life. So the prosecutors sign that they themselves would like to be more determined.

Identification

We assign to ourselves someone else’s “I”, imitating others, their lifestyle, thoughts, habits or appearance. The mechanism is laid in childhood when the child copies the parent to get approval or learn social skills. In adulthood, we can identify with someone significant, trying to become closer or avoid conflicts. The mechanism of imitation can also be included in the case when we do not trust feelings and desires, knowledge or taste. We forbid ourselves to be ourselves, hiding behind the figure of a person whom we consider authoritative.

Regression

We are trying to return at a time where we felt more confident and protected. Often such an unconscious rollback to the past is inherent in older children, who painfully react to the appearance of a baby in the house, and in all of it is imitated. They stop their own, begin to crawl. Adults, sick, can imitate children’s behavior, expecting increased care and attention.

Bias

The angle of attention is translated from one item to another. A common example: the inability to throw anger at work leads to the fact that a person breaks down on home. “Complex personal conflicts in which we cannot decide for a long time whether to change the sphere of activity or part with a partner, can lead to a shift in attention,” the psychologist says. “So phobias arise when an unresolved painful situation is hidden behind an unexpected fear of flights, spiders or closed spaces”.

Despite the fact that psychological defenses, it seems, protect the psyche, at the same time they destroy it. “We continue to make painful mistakes, because we unconsciously lead the pain that is hidden in the subconscious,” the specialist says. – Only having recognized the problem and finding the strength to meet her face to face, we get the opportunity to https://www.ssaircons.com/mostbet-turkiyenin-1-mostbet-uz-com-numarali-bahis-sitesi/ let her go. “.

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